"The more a human being is mature and complete, the more he is neither selfish nor selfless. A spiritual person is selfless, always giving for the other. A worldly human being is always selfish, always taking. For the true human being, within the same action there is giving and taking. Something for oneself and something for the other without any contradiction whatsoever." (A. H. Almaas, Diamond Heart Book 4, pg 88)
From the point of view of a mature human male, cunnilingus can be a completely intimate and satisfying path to sexual pleasure. So many things for a man like: the taste and smell of the woman (that’s a post in itself), the interplay of two dissimilar but intensely sensitive sexual areas, and when coming up for breath, a lovely vista from the loamy lowlands to the horizon of her eyes. Unfortunately, some men fail to appreciate the total sensory experience, relegating it to perfunctory foreplay at best and an unsavory chore at worst. Even the so-called stars of adult films seem to approach cunnilingus with all the creative gusto of a worn-out windshield wiper.
Gentlemen, this is the opportunity you’ve been waiting for. Hopping on the amazing cunnilingus bandwagon now is like buying Apple stock a few years ago. Get it together now, and you can have a competitive advantage over guys who, while perhaps more attractive or moneyed or buff than you, are still too ignorant or fearful to give a woman that one thing that’s never really been served up hot enough.
For what it's worth, here's what I've learned of this fine art:
1) Make an explicit offer. How do you like hearing “I’d like to give you an orgasm with my mouth”? ‘Nuff said. I’m wagering 95% of women have never heard those words. With this one utterance, you’ll go down in history.
2) Make friends with her clitoris. To many men, the clitoris is shrouded in mystery (as well as an extremely sensitive little pink blanket of retractable flesh). To put it boldly, that’s her penis, and you know how much you love your own! It’s rich in nerve endings, gets hard when she’s aroused, and welcomes your direct attention. Let her know you know it’s there. Free it gently from its little flower of skin, suck the full length into your mouth, gently squeeze her between your lips, flick the tip and swirl with abandon around the base with your tongue. Experiment with varying speeds and pressures, and take your time with it. Unless she wants it hard and fast…
3) Listen to her body. The lucky man has a partner who communicates in the moment what she enjoys. And it’s not just verbally – as a woman’s body responds, her body speaks to you in a kaleidoscope of sounds, movements, flavors and scents. The taste and wetness of her vagina can subtly change in a second as the intensity and quality of her pleasure changes, and you are right there with your lips and tongue, perhaps your most complete sense organs! The scent of her skin, the taste of her moisture, the arc of her back, the tension of her thighs, the pace and depth of her breathing - whether she’s aware of it or not, she’s telling you what can bring maximum pleasure to both of you.
4) It's not just an apertif, it makes a delicious dessert. It’s not all over when you cum, sir. She may feign satisfaction, but chances are she could go a few more laps. Resist, I say, the temptation to get up and pee, or turn on the TV, or take a nap. Try going down on her after intercourse! I don’t want to hear any carping about your own juices being down there, or the general swampiness of the landscape. Swallow your pride and hers too, and discover together the pleasure of that unexpected, impossible, bonus orgasm. Don’t forget the final deep kiss!
And here’s a general Lair Learning for all denizens. There are two essential components in the expression of lust: the wanting and the having. Too much wanting and we get frustrated; too much having and we go numb. The secret to fully experiencing lust is to accept that the real fun is in the dynamic play between wanting and having. So when pleasuring her, be mindful to neither linger too long in one spot and risk numbness, nor stay away too long from her hot spots and risk frustration.
You may ask, if you're an idiot, what's in this for me? First, you are highly unlikely to leave the party hungry. Second, if we are all, as they say, ONE, her pleasure is yours, and yours hers. You and your partner create together a space for enlightened selfishness and enlightened selflessness, giving and taking with each act, all in perfect harmonious balance.
Sex, like life, can be educational and fun!
No comments:
Post a Comment